Friday, March 04, 2005

Martha, Martha, Martha!!

Martha Stewart was just released from prision today and one could be led to believe, with all the ridiculous fanfare, that she was, instead, wrongfully convicted and did not, in fact, lie to federal investigators. To clear things up, she did, in fact, lie to federal investigators. For the next five months Ms. Stewart will be under house arrest in her plush, $16 million dollar Katonah estate in New York -- during which time she'll have the opporunity to accessorize the electronic ankle braclet that will monitor her every move. In addition, she'll be developing an Apprenticesque network show for NBC.

It's hearting to see an ex-con so quickly intergate back into civil society. Naturally, the court of public opinion is all that truly matters for Martha, as it's incredibly unlikely she'll have a problem finding gainful employment because of her criminal record.( Although, SEC regulations my prohibit her from helming a publicly traded company.) Look for a softer more endearing Martha Stewart in the months that follow, as she rolls out a public relations blitz to re-brand her hard, brusque image. So, much like I predicted in December's Year in Review, Martha Stewart will soon become an American folkhero.

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